Red Matrioska's Blog

silver-tongues-blog:

beware-the-ravenstag:

spaffy-jimble:

langernameohnebedeutung:

liesmyth:

sathinfection:

liesmyth:

sathinfection:

contemporary roman writers slutshamed julius caesar that’s your ides of march fact for today

what an absolute unit ol’ iulius was

how could you write this and not say WHY he was getting slutshamed

julius ‘husband to all wives and wife to all husbands’ caesar was a thirsty, thirsty bottom

suetonius: i heard that caesar was a big slut and also he liked buttsex and oral

cicero, to the gathered senate: CAESAR TAKES IT UP THE ASS

for historical context, cicero publicly called out jc for bottoming for king nicomedes of bithynia. they first met when caesar was 20, the king was at least twice his age. i am not saying sugar daddy but sugar daddy. the sex was so good that when nicomedes died he left his entire kingdom to rome, i am not making this up this is  t r u e

listen it’s one thing to slut shame Caesar, but Cicero went around speculating in public about Caesar and the king doing it on a “golden couch arrayed in purple” where “the virginity of the one sprung from Venus was lost in Bithynia” so I don’t think good old Iulius is the only one who’s got to ask himself some serious questions here.

Julius Caesar was stabbed for being a bottom, please share for bottom’s rights

fun fact- there was a popular song/chant his soldiers would sing so where ever they marched they could announce it to the whole world

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2062 slutty years

(via calyssmarviss)

go-fuck-yourself-todd:

Lara Croft has big buffed arms in her new game, the same with Cassandra, of the future Assassins Creed. Also with the girl in the Gears 5. And even Ellie is out there with high muscles.

This is the fucking golden age of gaming, dud.

scumbugg:

afatbabe:

afatbabe:

If you’re not noticed, you’re still valid.

Like, if no ones gonna read it, you should still write it.

If no ones gonna see it, you should still do it.

If no ones gonna hear you, you should still say it.

You’re not measured by how people react to you.

You’re not measured by how people react to you.

(via miscellanieux)

parseltonquinq:

classicantics:

sleepyysalamiri:

caffeinepants:

yourjacketisnowdry:

tawghasa:

bookavid:

devilrie:

- everyone answering “no, i’m fred” to “are you [insert Y/N]” even hermione
- everything draco does ever
- calling blast ended skrewts “power bottoms”
- calling newt scamander bad variations of his name like nerd sandwicher etc
- colin creevey using that one picture he managed to get of hermione punching draco as a reaction image
- shouting “spank me daddy” at the whomping willow
- [pointing at random object] that’s a portkey
- every single cat is professor mcgonagall

why

- POTTER

- ever since snape’s “bottle fame, brew fortune” speech students just go on and on with it - “flambé success, bake brilliance” “Can you tutor me in charms?” “TUTOR you? I can teach you how to SAUTÉ EXCELLENCE.”

- [random object] is totally a hufflepuff

- remember that game where someone yells “SHATNER” and you have to overact? same thing except it’s “TRELAWNEY” and you have to use whatever you’re holding to make a ludicrous prediction

- a more popular variation is “LOCKHART” to make up a pompous story about using whatever you’re holding to drive the [monster] out of [town]

- calling hippogriffs “leggy birbs”

- “Our beloved headmaster Albert Dumpsterfire/Aqueous Disillusionment/Aberdeen Decapitation…”

- shitty incantations ( “The Graying Hair Charm? Make-me-bloody-ancient-osia.” )

reblogging for albert dumpsterfire xD

-the dumbledore one, except you keep adding incorrect names, like albert pensive wallace herbert richard flamingo sherbet tango luthor…

-*peeves appears* IT DAT BOI

-”i’d rather be petrified”

-”so a shack gets to scream and it’s all normal and haunted, but when i do it i’m disturbing class and a nuisance”

I will sell my soul for all of this in a fic

(via siriusblocked)

hweianime:

electricitybetween:

friend: can i search something on your phone real quick?

me: …just a sec

Too relatable it hurts