Red Matrioska's Blog

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contemporary roman writers slutshamed julius caesar that’s your ides of march fact for today

what an absolute unit ol’ iulius was

how could you write this and not say WHY he was getting slutshamed

julius ‘husband to all wives and wife to all husbands’ caesar was a thirsty, thirsty bottom

suetonius: i heard that caesar was a big slut and also he liked buttsex and oral

cicero, to the gathered senate: CAESAR TAKES IT UP THE ASS

for historical context, cicero publicly called out jc for bottoming for king nicomedes of bithynia. they first met when caesar was 20, the king was at least twice his age. i am not saying sugar daddy but sugar daddy. the sex was so good that when nicomedes died he left his entire kingdom to rome, i am not making this up this is  t r u e

listen it’s one thing to slut shame Caesar, but Cicero went around speculating in public about Caesar and the king doing it on a “golden couch arrayed in purple” where “the virginity of the one sprung from Venus was lost in Bithynia” so I don’t think good old Iulius is the only one who’s got to ask himself some serious questions here.

Julius Caesar was stabbed for being a bottom, please share for bottom’s rights

fun fact- there was a popular song/chant his soldiers would sing so where ever they marched they could announce it to the whole world

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2062 slutty years

(via calyssmarviss)